Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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