what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
