his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
smell my finger.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
