I wish I could teleport
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize