I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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