im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
