No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize