went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize