I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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