Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize