Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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