it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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