I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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