The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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