i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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