he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
