Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
