i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my shit smells like andre
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize