she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
