I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
