ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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