Can i not drive my cunt home
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
