Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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