do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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