I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
why is half of my head shaved?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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