Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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