I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
