I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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