The maid of honor just puked.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
