guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
