I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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