I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
