I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
