I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
