I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
