puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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