she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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