i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
