I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
