i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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