3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
