dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
