I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
