How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
