Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
