tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
