Umm I'm too high to move.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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