Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You took a bar mat shot.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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