Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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