i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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