Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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