I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
