Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
