i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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