I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
