I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
