we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
