Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize