It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
