Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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