even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
