It's Friday. Sex?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
