You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
two words...techno handjob
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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