Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
